Noel Coward



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You must select one monologue from both sides, but one of your monologues needs to be from the character Garry Please attempt your very best high British accent during the monologues Morris: I haven’t slept for three nights, Garry—ever since you talked to me the othe r morning It’s bad enough getting one of my awful obsessions You know what I’m lik e when I get an obsession God knows you’ve helped me through enough of them, but this time I’ve made an utter fool of myself and [sits in chair] lied to you into t he bargain [drops his head] Joanna and I love each other It’s been going on for several months, but we made a pact that we’d lie about it to everyone, whatever ha ppened, in order not to make an awful mess and upset everything But I’m not used to lying to you—and it’s been driving me mad Garry: Listen to me, my dearest Daphne You’re not in love with me—the real me You’re in love with an illusion, the illusion that I gave you when you saw me on the s tage Last night I ran the risk of breaking that dear young illusion for ever—but I didn’t—It’s still there I can see it in your eyes but never again—never never again—mom ents like last night—that’s all I can dare to hope for now—that’s why I’m so lonely someti mes, so desperately lonely, but I have learned one bitter lesson in my life and that lesson is to be able to say goodbye—[Daphne protests “But Garry”] Let me go on—Shh! [reciting the poem theatrically] “We meet not as we parted/We feel more than all may see;/My bosom is heavy-hearted/And thine full of doubt for me One moment ha s bound the free” [Daphne protests again “But Garry”] Quiet! “That moment has gone fore ver,/Like lighting that flashed and died,/Like a snowflake upon the river,/Like a sunbeam upon the tide,/Which the dark shadows hide—” There now, that was Shelley Don’t you think it’s beautiful? You must select one monologue from both sides, but one of your monologues needs to be from the character Garry Please attempt your very best high British accent during the monologues Roland: [rises heatedly] And what do you do with it? [“it” refers to the “theatre of t he present times”] Every play you appear in is exactly the same, superficial, friv olous and without the slightest intellectual significance You have a great foll owing and a strong personality, and all you do is prostitute yourself every nigh t of your life All you do with your talent is to wear dressing-gowns and make w itty remarks when you might be really helping people, making them think! Making them feel! [sits next to Garry] If you want to live in people’s memories, to go d own to posterity as an important man, you’d better do something about it quickly There isn’t a moment to be lost Garry: Very well, Morris, I’m not going to ask you one more question, I’m not even g oing to bellow at you, much, but that all depends upon whether or not you annoy me I am however going to make you see one thing clearly, and it is this You an d Hugo and Monica and Liz and I share something of inestimable importance to all of us, and that something is mutual respect and trust God knows it’s been hard w on We can look back on years and years of bitter conflict with ourselves and wi th each other But now, now that we’re all middle-aged we can admit, with a certai n mellow tranquility, that it’s been well worth it Here we are, five people close ly woven together by affection and work and intimate knowledge of each other It’s too important a “setup” to risk breaking for any outside emotional reason whatsoeve r Joanna is alien to us She doesn’t really belong to us and never could Hugo re alizes that perfectly well, he’s nobody’s fool and to do him justice he has never tr ied to force her on us But don’t believe for a minute that Joanna isn’t a potential danger, because she is! She’s a hundred percent female, exceedingly attractive an d ruthlessly implacable in the pursuit of anything she wants







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